Can you say EXHAUSTED!

Last night as it rained and the thunder and lightning shook my home and my kids, I came to the realization of how much my kids love and need me. They of coarse cried and I ran in to save them. Zoe the middle child looks up at me and says "Mommy i don't like that rain noise, it's scaring me" I picked her up and just took her with me to my room. Mind you my kids do not ever sleep with us. We just never wanted to start that habit. So, while I laid Zoe down I heard the older one whimper so i rushed in and realized there was no way i could fit all four of us on the bed so i just laid next to her and said a little prayer for her. As I finished my prayer and she fell back to sleep, you guessed it right, my baby Chloe woke up, so I rushed in to rescue her and as I picked her up out of her crib she squeezed my neck. She is only 11 months old and I had not felt her give me such a great hug like that.... EVER! And even though I could hardly keep my eyes open much less walk since I was so exhausted I was finding my self enjoying those precious moments.

In the meantime, Robert finally realizes what is going on and takes Zoe back to her bed and I laid Chloe down next to me. She was so cute while she laid there with me. She just cuddled up right next to me and with a big smile just stretched her little arm across my chest and laid there motionless...i guess that was to make sure i was not going anywhere.

How awesome it felt to be needed and loved at the same time.

I said all that to say, God is not indifferent to our needs. He wants us to cry out to him for help in our time of need whether big or small. His word says, "Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:16. Not only does He want us to come to Him, but He wants us to come boldly. That means we come with confidence and assurance that He will respond to our needs with grace and mercy. His heart probably jumps to hear our every thought and prayer and is ready to help us.
We should remind ourselves that our needs are an opportunity to discover how much God DESIRES to help us.

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.” Psalm 46:1,2

I am UNDONE but GOD is Gracious

Isaiah was considered the greatest Old Testament Prophet and amazingly I still can’t figure out why he felt so undone before the LORD. This guy was extremely sold out and passionate for GOD. The famous scripture spoken by Isaiah “Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips for my eyes have seen the KING, the Lord of hosts.” Isaiah 6:5

It is amazing how even after we give our hearts to GOD and HE cleanses us and restores us back to Himself we STILL have the sinful man/ woman hanging around to destroy the very thing GOD is pursuing to change in us. In my personal life, I found out really quickly that GOD can definitely do the miraculous of changing a man or woman instantly on the outward but the inward is layers and layers of messes that only GOD can clean and purify. It’s like He starts peeling layers of an onion and reveals to me how much of a stench there is. The baggage from yesterday that seems to NEVER disappear.

What I have come to find in my walk with GOD is when I fail to pursue Him on a daily basis my life reveals the madness or better yet, the foolishness that is deep down in my heart. My focus is taken off of Christ and His character and the old woman (selfishness) gets back in the drivers seat. As a result, that is when my husband begins to hear me nag more, my children get less of me and more of the “time out” because I am beyond frustrated, and pretty much everything else goes south. In the middle of it all, this mom has no strength left to get back on track because I feel like the damage has been done and in my little world I think it is beyond repairable. Unfortunately, from experience, getting back ON track has always been harder than getting OFF track. So, after feeling extremely exhausted and run down that is when I have realized I AM UNDONE and only GOD can cleans me.

Letting God purify and cleanse us may be painful but we must be purified so that we can truly represent God who is pure and holy. In my walk with HIM, I know that the purifying and cleansing He wants to do in me comes in the form of rising up way before my kids do, so that I can spend quality time in HIS presence, which is a sacrifice for me because I love to sleep. He also seems to be bringing me to a place where I truly depend and trust in HIM even when everything seems to fail.

Although, I have not yet overcome any of my character flaws and realistically probably never will without the power of GOD I have come to grips that just as Isaiah stayed daily in the presence of GOD and was cleansed so must I. In the meantime, I lean on His word that gives me this beautiful promise that “the LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. Psalm 103:8
This is a promise that I will hold on to while I wait on Him to cleanse and purify and bring me to the place where He wants me.

I am UNDONE...

I am thankful to GOD for HIS gracious love & compassion on me....
I realized today that all that GOD is doing in & through me is such a miracle in itself and i felt prompted by HIS Spirit to share...What's crazy & funny at the same time is I started this blog about 3 years ago after Hurricane Ike and really never shared much just posted some pics here and there...BUT after much thought and prayer I felt it was time to share not only what GOD is sharing with me but how HE is dealing with me...I hope that through my good times and bad GOD can use it all to bring my mess to a message and encourage anyone who reads....

My first blog "UNDONE" will start tomorrow...

Daddy & his little angel worn out!

Grandma Sandi & the girls

Grandma Sandi and the girls hanging out on the deck. This was Hurricane Ike weekend getaway. What a great grandma she is. :)

Just hang on till I figure this blogsite stuff out and I will post some pics of my LOVE LEE FAMILY!
Check back soon